Enter here ye who dare

[susie_flo]

Good morning dear fiends!  Happy happy day of the week to you.  May your weekend plans be fabulous and sordid.  I am feeling the cheer of someone who has lovely coffee and has just remembered she has Monday and Tuesday off work too.   (Glee!)

However I fear this post might be about to sink into an intelligence vacuum on a scale of Kerry Katona, so those with a delicate sense of the written word might like to look away now.

For example, in case you were wondering, these are the brain-teasers that I have woken up pondering...

1. Are there any vegetarian spiders?
2. Who would be worse... Michael Winner or John McCririck?  (Y'know... if you absolutely had to)
3. Is everyone with a surname as their first name either posh, Scottish or black?

 
Last night  I upset some Americans at the next dining table.  It's not my fault really cos the restaurant had crammed in so many tables you could barely whisper without the table next to you hearing every nuance.  Anyway it was an evening of increasing merriness and at one point I quoted ms_siobhan and Mr Pops by bellowing "Fuck off, then come back and fuck off again!" at G.  As reward, I was treated to a very long, shocked stare by the US-ian at the next table, followed by a hushed little convo with his wife about "British people".   I fear I may have let the side down, fiends...

Today I might FINALLY take my pinhole camers for a spin.  It took me (no kidding) about 3 hours to assemble the godforsaken thing last weekend.  And now what gives me the fear is that it has NO viewfinder.  How the hell do you take pics with no viewfinder?   I'm stuck with random guesswork... pointing it at things and waiting for them to be developed to see how the composition ended up.   [insert suspicious, dissatisfied noise here]

Well that's all from me...   (I bet you're ever so glad you read to the end).

Have fun!


EDIT:  In relation to 3) above, Ivory Goddess has quite rightly pointed out that people with surnames for first names could just as easily be American (especially TV anchormen and frat boy types)

Comments

[ms-siobhan.livejournal.com]

I once scandalised a table sat next to us in a similarly crowded restaurant by quoting a chum who once said he'd 'wade knee deep through a mile of shite for a sniff of snatch'. This led to my motto of 'if you're easily offended then you shouldn't eavesdrop.

As for Winner or McCririck - I'd rather take the cyanide capsule option but Winner is possibly marginally less offensive.

I love the old fashioned pics you put on farcebook - really lovely.

[the-meanest-cat.livejournal.com]

Ha! I suspect last night's Americans would have gone straight into brain bleach rehab if I'd said that! :-p

And as for my unforgivable ultimatum-of-horror, cyanide wins for me too... (but agree that however odious Winner may be, the prospect is less terrifying than McCririck by 30 landslides).

(PS thanks, about the pics)

[ivory-goddess.livejournal.com]

1) Yes: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8302535.stm

2)Dear God, I worry about the state of your subconcious!

3)Or American

[the-meanest-cat.livejournal.com]

Oh how fabulous! There is a veggie spider! Bless its 8 legs.

(And yes... if I had a therapist, I suspect they'd worry)

[(Anonymous)]

Winner over McCririck every time. Winner is a considerate and generous lover.

[the-meanest-cat.livejournal.com]

Explain yourself, anonymous!

[chiller.livejournal.com]

Winner over McCririck every time. Winner is a considerate and generous lover.

[the-meanest-cat.livejournal.com]

Ah, it was you! (Grin) You know when when people ask "what are you laughing at?" and you have to reply "it's because Michael Winner is a considerate and generous lover"... (that's when they start to worry about you).

[chiller.livejournal.com]

Sorry - for some reason my browser logged me out, and when I went back to delete the comment it was gone! Mmmm. Winner.

[moral-vacuum.livejournal.com]

I'd heard that about him.

[chiller.livejournal.com]

The pierced nipples were a surprise.

[the-meanest-cat.livejournal.com]

...never mind the nips, tell me more about the Prince Albert, do

[chiller.livejournal.com]

MA-HOO-SIVE, baby!

[kissmeforlonger.livejournal.com]

If I had to I'd choose Michael Winner. McCririck seems to actively dislike women, which is a non starter.

[the-meanest-cat.livejournal.com]

Whereas Winner just wishes they'd all calm down!