classified

[susie_flo]

Do any of you like to peruse Personal Ads?  I've always been fascinated by them and as a kid I used to love reading them in the local paper.  The ones posted in the LRB are available online and make a diverting read every now and then. 

They are sometimes witty, but tend to vary in tone... for example,

"I pride myself on being very well lubricated. Lover and, more importantly, gentleman, 53"

"Are you 43-60, abit sleazy but attractive, funny and a ladies man? That’s my type - but I’m open minded and I’ve been good long enough!"

"My Vostok, your Salamanca. Whilst my pet names for you will recall early Soviet space projects, your terms of endearment for me will be tributes to the golden age of locomotion. Our love-making will be legendary and scholars will write about it in text books 700-pages thick..."  (it goes on)

"Attractive, red-haired ladies to 35: *Tips hat*"

"This is an advert full of cheap innuendo, lazy come-ons, and needy sexual impropriety. Just like the LRB letters page."

(Full list here...  www.lrb.co.uk/classified )

Rather annoyingly, I am alone, which means that I have missed the chance for G to ask me "what's that you're reading?" and for me to reply "it's classified"


(PS - number 4, above - I suspect steer )
 

Comments

[gylfinir.livejournal.com]

I once placed a personal ad. In my defence, it was in a music paper.

[the-meanest-cat.livejournal.com]

Did you get any good replies?

I think personal ads in papers are to dating what second-hand shops are to shopping. They both offer a fabulous sense of possibility and the joy of the unknown... (like if you rummage for long enough you might uncover a real gem.)

Today's online dating sites are a bit more like ebay...

[gylfinir.livejournal.com]

I got some very weird replies (one from someone who was suicidal so, y'know, I wasn't really sure what was expected there), some really boring replies, and made two very good friends - one of whom had been at the same university as me at precisely the same time but had never met - and I freaked him out when I told him all about himself without revealing who I was.

I don't know whether I'd ever do this again, though. The creative ads are the ones that are more tantalising, but threaten the greatest disappointment...

[the-meanest-cat.livejournal.com]

"The creative ads are the ones that are more tantalising, but threaten the greatest disappointment..."

I think you're right - I find some of the ones in LRB are a bit too "Hey, guess what? I'm really clever!" to be truly appealing.

[steer.livejournal.com]

I don't have a hat though (because of my spookily large head which does not fit them).

I Rather liked This One..

[whiteshadow.livejournal.com]

Free on Wednesdays. On January 1st , my husband informed me that he would now be spending every Wednesday with his mistress. Impossibility of disentangling our library means that separation is not an option. Writer with senior railcard, still beautiful, seeks diversions. East Anglia/London, but willing to travel further for entertaining activities.