Women on the verge of a nervous breakdown
Jan. 14th, 2010 01:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
susie_floGood day to you dear fiendies. How are things chez you?
I have minor blueness, but suspect it's just hormones. Luckily there is chocolate cake within my field of vision...
Yesterday I had no chance to supply you with a scurrilous SBB update, so here is a little postette for those of you who are pining.
Since the announcement of the nominees we've seen the emergence of some minor breakdown symptoms. Obviously the regulation boo-hoos from Soverystupid and the scrap paper... but Sov has also gone a bit mad and started hiding tins of baked beans around the house. (Perhaps she is method acting since they've all been made to dress up as pensioners for two days).
The best reaction has been from Heidi, who shuffles around all day with mad, stary eyes, looking like Death's wife and being delightfully foul mouthed. At one point a few of the slebs were sitting around discussing Sov, to which Heidi's contribution was a bellow of "Stupid BITCH" and "Effing C*NT". Even Vinnie (or vince, as Ivana likes to call him) thought it was a bit OTT. (Whereas I, dear readers, would like to encourage such profanity at all times.) :-p
Billy-Bob-Bubba also appears to be skirting the edge of sanity. Ever since his mini-spat with the P3G he has gone a bit loopy and seems to think she is the devil. Whenever her name comes up he says things like "there is evil in this house" and "evil takes many guises" and "beware the ides of Nicky". Vince tried to convince him that a P3G was unlikely to be capable of evil on a grand scale... but he just replied with "ye of little faith" or some such bollocks.
Meanwhile BB is doing everything possible to chip away at any remaining sanity and good will within the group. Having destroyed their morale by feeding them liquidised food for two days, last night they had to complete a crossword where all of the clues were things that the slebs had said behind each other's backs... (e.g. "according to one housemate, Steph and Ivana are a pair of _ _ _ _ _ ?")
It was mighty funny, from the P3G's blank and confused face upon seeing "the ides of Nicky" on the grid, to Sov's tantrum at the disparaging comment about her hair. (Even G raised an amused eyebrow when the P3G knew one of the answers and started jumping up and down in her seat shouting "bum and ballbag!! bum and ballbag!!") Classy as ever. More of this please BB...
Throughout all of this, Vince is calculatedly detached and maintaining a demeanour of older, wiser and smugger, fully aware he is the bookies' favourite to win. Dame Steph remains aloof and patronising, much to the irritation of the others. But she continues to offer the closest thing to an intelligent opinion on the rare occasions that she can convince anyone to listen.
In other news, I am noticing (courtesy of![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nalsa and others) that Victoria Coren is almost universally disliked. This is all very understandable, except I am stricken by a vague fear that I miight be a bit like her... (obviously not including the poker skills, published books or any other aspects of her success.) Er, please don't feel the need to confirm this, dear fiends... I shall simply take consolation in the fact that she's not quite as annoying as her even smugger but thoroughly useless brother.
I have minor blueness, but suspect it's just hormones. Luckily there is chocolate cake within my field of vision...
Yesterday I had no chance to supply you with a scurrilous SBB update, so here is a little postette for those of you who are pining.
Since the announcement of the nominees we've seen the emergence of some minor breakdown symptoms. Obviously the regulation boo-hoos from Soverystupid and the scrap paper... but Sov has also gone a bit mad and started hiding tins of baked beans around the house. (Perhaps she is method acting since they've all been made to dress up as pensioners for two days).
The best reaction has been from Heidi, who shuffles around all day with mad, stary eyes, looking like Death's wife and being delightfully foul mouthed. At one point a few of the slebs were sitting around discussing Sov, to which Heidi's contribution was a bellow of "Stupid BITCH" and "Effing C*NT". Even Vinnie (or vince, as Ivana likes to call him) thought it was a bit OTT. (Whereas I, dear readers, would like to encourage such profanity at all times.) :-p
Billy-Bob-Bubba also appears to be skirting the edge of sanity. Ever since his mini-spat with the P3G he has gone a bit loopy and seems to think she is the devil. Whenever her name comes up he says things like "there is evil in this house" and "evil takes many guises" and "beware the ides of Nicky". Vince tried to convince him that a P3G was unlikely to be capable of evil on a grand scale... but he just replied with "ye of little faith" or some such bollocks.
Meanwhile BB is doing everything possible to chip away at any remaining sanity and good will within the group. Having destroyed their morale by feeding them liquidised food for two days, last night they had to complete a crossword where all of the clues were things that the slebs had said behind each other's backs... (e.g. "according to one housemate, Steph and Ivana are a pair of _ _ _ _ _ ?")
It was mighty funny, from the P3G's blank and confused face upon seeing "the ides of Nicky" on the grid, to Sov's tantrum at the disparaging comment about her hair. (Even G raised an amused eyebrow when the P3G knew one of the answers and started jumping up and down in her seat shouting "bum and ballbag!! bum and ballbag!!") Classy as ever. More of this please BB...
Throughout all of this, Vince is calculatedly detached and maintaining a demeanour of older, wiser and smugger, fully aware he is the bookies' favourite to win. Dame Steph remains aloof and patronising, much to the irritation of the others. But she continues to offer the closest thing to an intelligent opinion on the rare occasions that she can convince anyone to listen.
In other news, I am noticing (courtesy of
nalsa and others) that Victoria Coren is almost universally disliked. This is all very understandable, except I am stricken by a vague fear that I miight be a bit like her... (obviously not including the poker skills, published books or any other aspects of her success.) Er, please don't feel the need to confirm this, dear fiends... I shall simply take consolation in the fact that she's not quite as annoying as her even smugger but thoroughly useless brother.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-01-14 01:30 pm (UTC)Hee hee! I think that has pretty much hit the nail on the head.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-14 02:19 pm (UTC)I quite like Ms Coren - after I read a book she wrote about making a porn film and I don't mind her on the telly either, she's nowhere near as irritating as Carol Vorderman for example. I like her brother's enthuiasm too - but not his habit of talking with his mouth full. There is no call for that kind of behaviour unless there is a medical reason for it.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-14 05:08 pm (UTC)As for VC, I must confess I was intrigued when I found out about the porn flick and the poker championships... it made her a bit more interesting anyway. Before that I had her relegated as one of those less-successful-than-my-dad types who only got on telly by being Alan's daughter.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-14 05:26 pm (UTC)