I am the last of the famous...
Jan. 5th, 2010 01:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
susie_floHappy lunchtime, fiends! While you nom on your sandwiches, I shall continue to expose my hidden shallows to you. Would you like that? Would you?
I just *know* that you are dying to hear what's happening in Sleb BB...
Well, the answer is not very much so far. But I can at least elaborate on a few of the inmates...
First of all, Vinnie Jones. I'd like it known that I find the man utterly, utterly repulsive. I know that there are a lot of ladies out there who like a bit of rough, but Vinnie's TM combo of rough + butt ugly + dressing like a total knob does not set my loins aflame. He ponced about last night in the obligatory geezer uniform of beige designer pointy shoes + spiv hat (worn wrongly). I'm not sure who needs trilby lessons more urgently - Vinnie Jones or Pete (deepest shudder) Doherty. They both need to be locked in a room and made to watch 30s gangster movies. Or maybe just locked in a room.
Anyway I'm sure I'm in a tiny minority because my gut feeling is that VJ will win it. He is going hell for leather on the whole cheeky chappie/cockney sparra/cuppa tea malarky. The only good part is that every time he is on screen I am song-virused by the heavenly tones of Morrissey singing "Reggie Kray do you know my name? Ohhhh don't say you don't, please say you do, ohhh, ohhh"
I think that Stephanie Beacham has decided to *be* Sable Colby for the duration... ("Good god, this is acrylic we're sleeping on!") So far I am quite liking her, not least because she managed to get Cotton Eye Joe (aka Bubba Baldwin) to start talking politics within the space of 3 minutes. Who'd have guessed he'd turn out to be a Palin-loving Republican? And furthermore, is it written in law somewhere that American Republicans have to have that face? (You know the one.)
One of the nonentities has turned out to be a page 3 girl who looks like a chav Liz Hurley. She has clearly decided to fulfil the role of P3G parody, so whether or not she possesses any brain cells, she's hiding them behind the attention span of a fruit fly. During the introductions We had the following lovely exchange: P3G to Stephanie: "So are you like an actress then?" Stephanie: "Yes darling, I'm like an actress". Later we were treated to some anecdotes about "My friend, right, who's a proper slag..." Classy!
Heidi Fleiss seems likeable enough and did a fine job of baiting Bubba with her "God, no, I don't have children - thank god for abortion". However she has done something truly appalling to her lips. If I didn't know better, I'd guess that Chrissie Hynde had entered the house and been pummelled in the face 300 times by Vinnie Jones. (What is it that slebs love so much about their top lips that they feel the need to magnify them by the power of three?)
Even worse, I'm afraid it's been necessary to bestow a duplicate Who-The-Frak-Are-You award. It seems we are blessed not only with Jordan's "I'd do anything for a hundred grand" cage fighter, but also with the wisp of blank paper that is Ronnie Wood's jailbait ex. It's enough to make the minor-boy-band-member who hasn't worked for 5 years look like Mick Jagger.
Yet more blandification is coming from the Tiny Twosome (aka Lady Soveriegn and an R'n'B singer called Sisqo). So far no signs of intelligent life... but will wait and see.
On the good side, I am mildly lusting after the steely-eyed piece of Swedish fluff who spent the day puffing away in a dinner jacket... (at least until he turns out to be a big useless tosspot like the rest of them.)
Ah, happy days!
In other square-eyed news, I watched a Maaaat Daaaamon film last night, called The Good Shepherd. It had me at post-war spy thriller meets Dumbledore. MD wore unflattering glasses and played his default role of "Mr slightly disturbing, emotionally detached, would probably kill you and then eat a sandwich" (a bit more Ripley than Bourne). At one point it paid a fleeting visit to post-war Berlin which reminded me that I must thank![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rosamicula for lending me her copy of 'Pavel and I' (I really enjoyed it... post-war spy action makes me hot!)
Returning briefly to inanity... at one point last night the question "who is your favourite superhero? was posed". I answered "Magneto" and G said "He isn't really a hero though, is he?" and I said "No, but he is super", which led to us both imagining the lovely Sir Ian Mckellen on stage as Big Gay Al, singing "I am super, thanks for asking". It was a heartwarming image upon which to go to bed.
I suppose it's a good thing I have a job.
Oh, one last thing... do any London-based Bods fancy seeing this?
http://www.lyric.co.uk/pl500.html
I just *know* that you are dying to hear what's happening in Sleb BB...
Well, the answer is not very much so far. But I can at least elaborate on a few of the inmates...
First of all, Vinnie Jones. I'd like it known that I find the man utterly, utterly repulsive. I know that there are a lot of ladies out there who like a bit of rough, but Vinnie's TM combo of rough + butt ugly + dressing like a total knob does not set my loins aflame. He ponced about last night in the obligatory geezer uniform of beige designer pointy shoes + spiv hat (worn wrongly). I'm not sure who needs trilby lessons more urgently - Vinnie Jones or Pete (deepest shudder) Doherty. They both need to be locked in a room and made to watch 30s gangster movies. Or maybe just locked in a room.
Anyway I'm sure I'm in a tiny minority because my gut feeling is that VJ will win it. He is going hell for leather on the whole cheeky chappie/cockney sparra/cuppa tea malarky. The only good part is that every time he is on screen I am song-virused by the heavenly tones of Morrissey singing "Reggie Kray do you know my name? Ohhhh don't say you don't, please say you do, ohhh, ohhh"
I think that Stephanie Beacham has decided to *be* Sable Colby for the duration... ("Good god, this is acrylic we're sleeping on!") So far I am quite liking her, not least because she managed to get Cotton Eye Joe (aka Bubba Baldwin) to start talking politics within the space of 3 minutes. Who'd have guessed he'd turn out to be a Palin-loving Republican? And furthermore, is it written in law somewhere that American Republicans have to have that face? (You know the one.)
One of the nonentities has turned out to be a page 3 girl who looks like a chav Liz Hurley. She has clearly decided to fulfil the role of P3G parody, so whether or not she possesses any brain cells, she's hiding them behind the attention span of a fruit fly. During the introductions We had the following lovely exchange: P3G to Stephanie: "So are you like an actress then?" Stephanie: "Yes darling, I'm like an actress". Later we were treated to some anecdotes about "My friend, right, who's a proper slag..." Classy!
Heidi Fleiss seems likeable enough and did a fine job of baiting Bubba with her "God, no, I don't have children - thank god for abortion". However she has done something truly appalling to her lips. If I didn't know better, I'd guess that Chrissie Hynde had entered the house and been pummelled in the face 300 times by Vinnie Jones. (What is it that slebs love so much about their top lips that they feel the need to magnify them by the power of three?)
Even worse, I'm afraid it's been necessary to bestow a duplicate Who-The-Frak-Are-You award. It seems we are blessed not only with Jordan's "I'd do anything for a hundred grand" cage fighter, but also with the wisp of blank paper that is Ronnie Wood's jailbait ex. It's enough to make the minor-boy-band-member who hasn't worked for 5 years look like Mick Jagger.
Yet more blandification is coming from the Tiny Twosome (aka Lady Soveriegn and an R'n'B singer called Sisqo). So far no signs of intelligent life... but will wait and see.
On the good side, I am mildly lusting after the steely-eyed piece of Swedish fluff who spent the day puffing away in a dinner jacket... (at least until he turns out to be a big useless tosspot like the rest of them.)
Ah, happy days!
In other square-eyed news, I watched a Maaaat Daaaamon film last night, called The Good Shepherd. It had me at post-war spy thriller meets Dumbledore. MD wore unflattering glasses and played his default role of "Mr slightly disturbing, emotionally detached, would probably kill you and then eat a sandwich" (a bit more Ripley than Bourne). At one point it paid a fleeting visit to post-war Berlin which reminded me that I must thank
rosamicula for lending me her copy of 'Pavel and I' (I really enjoyed it... post-war spy action makes me hot!)Returning briefly to inanity... at one point last night the question "who is your favourite superhero? was posed". I answered "Magneto" and G said "He isn't really a hero though, is he?" and I said "No, but he is super", which led to us both imagining the lovely Sir Ian Mckellen on stage as Big Gay Al, singing "I am super, thanks for asking". It was a heartwarming image upon which to go to bed.
I suppose it's a good thing I have a job.
Oh, one last thing... do any London-based Bods fancy seeing this?
http://www.lyric.co.uk/pl500.html
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
YOu kill me Sue
Date: 2010-01-05 01:13 pm (UTC)I watched the Good Sheperd but don't remember it at all. They always get some big dorky glasses on Matt to make him look super bad. The same as when they put big glasses on the dorky girl who turns into a 'swan' in all those teen flicks. Like Prince Diaries 1 and 2 (which I am ashamed to say I watched on NYE!!)
Re: YOu kill me Sue
Date: 2010-01-05 01:25 pm (UTC)I think you're right - I'm sure Maaaaat Daaaamon had the same pair of oversized specs on in Ripley and Good Will Hunting.
And Grrr to the ridiculousness of putting a pretty girl in specs and expecting us all to think she's ugly. I shake my fist whenever I see those stupid magazine columns cooing in amazement when the Ugly Betty actress turns up on a red carpet looking pretty... (like, wow)
no subject
Date: 2010-01-05 01:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-05 01:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-05 01:57 pm (UTC)Am liking the sound of Ms Fleiss too - even if her lips make me feel slightly scared.
BTW Shallow is the new depth is the adage i live my life by.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-05 02:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-05 02:22 pm (UTC)Now I don't know that I will ever be happy in life unless this actually happens.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-05 02:42 pm (UTC)(I shall write and tell him....)
no subject
Date: 2010-01-05 03:28 pm (UTC)As for Vinnie Jones, I have to say I am SADDENED every time an otherwise right-thinking woman expresses lust in his direction. I mean, honestly... given all the men in the world to fancy, why would anyone choose that?