susie_flo | He just smiled and gave me a foie gras sandwich

This morning I shared a crushed train with a group of posh teenage girls. Had they been on 'mute' you would still have known they were posh by the regulation long, thick, glossy hair. In every other aspect, sloaney teens look identical to chav teens... (they all swan around in Primarni with tatty ballerina pumps and inner-rim eyeliner, exuding a universal air of teenage cheapness.)

Sadly they were not on mute, and gave themselves away by conducting all conversations as loudly as possible across the train carriage, in the not-yet-dented belief that the whole world finds them special and interesting.

The chief topic of this morning's conversation was disbelief that there are people in France who don't speak English...

"I mean, like, God! I was speaking fluent English, as loudly as possible, and they were just like, duh? I mean, what are you supposed to DO?"

"Ya, I know! Well... I usually just talk in, like, really basic English? Like... 'Me go out now' or 'Me buy this?' Y'know, to help them understand... "

Ah, long live Les Anglais!