Would you like to marry me? And if you like you can buy the ring...

[susie_flo]

Today I have a quick question about bodily function (apologies) but it is very profound and potentially useful.  (If it works, I could sell it on the internet as a get-thin-quick secret for £9.99 a go).
  
Ok here we go...   I think most people would agree that if you have a coffee or a cigarette first thing in the mornng, it kick-starts your metabolism pretty quickly and makes you want to go to the loo.  Right? 
 
The thing is, I find that I get the same effect when I start to smell the coffee being made... or even just *think* about the coffee  i.e several minutes before I have had my first sip.  I might have been up and about for ages, but it is the expectation of coffee that will suddenly make my metabolism do a little flip and wake up for the day.
 
So here's the plan.  Theoretically...  if I were to envisage imaginary coffees, cigarettes and amphetamines all day long, could I make my metabolism run a bit faster and therefore be thinner with no real physical effort required?
 
On a similar note, I believe that basic brain usage burns up some calories.  After all, just staying alive burns up calories.   BUT... does the brain use up more calories if you think harder?   (Like, if I spent the day doing very hard cryptic crosswords or impossible maths, would that burn up more calories than if I loafed around reading Heat mag?)  
 
You can see where I'm going with this.  Suggestions welcome, especially from anyone who actually knows what they're on about.

 

Comments

[ms-siobhan.livejournal.com]

I don't know if it would work that way in practice but I say get tinternet site registered quick and start selling it - if it works - double bonus, and if it doesn't you get rich anyway and can afford lawyers and liposuction ;-)

[the-meanest-cat.livejournal.com]

I like your thinking. (Liposuction has got to me one of the most tempting treatments ever invented)

[sushidog.livejournal.com]

So what you're saying is that if I think very very hard about coffee all the time I'll get all thin? Or just that I'll spend all day in the loo? :-)

[the-meanest-cat.livejournal.com]

Maybe a bit of both? :-)

Surely gotta be worth a try... (though I wonder if thinking very very hard all day might be actually more tiring than going to the gym)

[sushidog.livejournal.com]

Hm, I shall have to remember not to think very very hard about coffee at times when it would be inconvenient to need a loo break!

But I'm going to test your theory; today I shall think hard about coffee _and_ cigarettes, and see if I'm thinner by tomorrow. :-)

[moral-vacuum.livejournal.com]

You will spend a lot of time running back and forth to the loo, thus burning lots of calories.

[steer.livejournal.com]

Studies have shown that thinking about exercising a particular muscle produces some muscle growth benefits for that muscle although only a fraction of what actually exercising it does.

The effect of coffee overall is to make you more drowsy but temporarily more alert shortly after having a cup of coffee -- overall though decreasing alertness (this was research from 2006 IIRC so it may have been overturned). I would guess that if you could keep the "smell" effect going then that would actually probably be better for alertness than coffee. However, I would also guess that it's an association think -- your body perking up and going "hey I'm about to get that drug". I guess that effect would weaken if you were away from coffee itself for long enough.

[the-meanest-cat.livejournal.com]

Ooh, I like the sound of the muscle studies. That would be a very minimalist way to do weights... just thinking about doing them instead.

So actually *drinking* coffee would undermine my cryptic-crossword-weight-loss plan by making me less alert. Hmmm. I shall factor that into my bestseller.

Hope you are having fun in Rio! Are you dancing on the sand... just like that river twisting through a dusty land?

[steer.livejournal.com]

Are you dancing on the sand... just like that river twisting through a dusty land?

I'm not -- I'm thinking about getting breakfast.

[moral-vacuum.livejournal.com]

If you build up enough caffeine in your system you don't get the crash for ages. About 6 shots will do it.

[whiteshadow.livejournal.com]

You probably could speed up your metabolism by thinking about coffee *but* I have a nasty feeling that if it speeded up enough to enable you to lose weight then probably all the side effects such as the shakes would probably kick in.

Also I think that there is a diminishing effect as well, I drink so much coffee my body has become used to it ... therefore it has no effect on my weight, on the upside it no longer keeps me awake!