Grrrski!

You know what I really, really HATE?  
 
Companies that let you sign up for things online, but only let you cancel them by phone*.  *GLARES AT LOVEFILM*.  Presumably this is so that you have no choice but to talk to a sales person who will try to talk you out of it and hard-sell you more crap.  
 
What is even more annoying is to find yourself on a lengthy phone queue with terrible muzak and recorded adverts being read out to you on a loop... and then after ten minutes a recorded voice says "we cannot take your call right now" and hangs-up.  WTFingF?
 
When I eventually get through to the b'stards, I shall be responding to every question with "It's beyond my control."  Yeah, lets see how they like that.
 
* This is on a par with those companies who accept payments by credit card but will only refund by cheque.
  

while I'm being an argumentative crone...

...it has occurred to me recently that I often disagree (fondly) with the rants that my fiends post here and on farcebook about modern language and its usage.  Really, some of you are the most frightful curmudgeons about slang and the like.  
 
The other day I noticed that the top trend on Twatter was "Jessie J is totes amazeballs" and I'm afraid it made me chuckle with glee.  What's not to love?  [edit: I realise the answer to this question might be "Jessie J"]
  
Furthermore, I am not offended by the word "frape".  In fact the sheer, juvenile irreverence of it delights me.  I hate the way that the word 'rape' is somehow deemed fit only to be spoken in hushed tones.  It totes needs to come out of the closet... and you can rely on teenagers for that.  I find it HUGELY patronising when people claim that the casual use of the word belittles the act itself.  What utter nonsense.  You'd have to be an idiot to be morally confused by this.  (Does anybody out there find themselves belittling the 'murder' of human beings as a result of someone expressing an overt desire for a curry'?)
 
And as for swearing...  yeah, that doesn't offend me either.  It's all part of the rich tapestry that makes up our beautiful language.
 
* slopes off to read How To Lose Friends and Alienate People*
 

DISCLAIMER:  it has not escaped my notice that I have been possessed by the most tiresome, ranty, finger-wagging bore this week.  I do apologise, fiends.  I promise that normal service will be resumed imminently.  Kittehs! Gluttony! Telly!...
 
 

Packing heat

Right!  You tinkly-tonkling, sneaky, food-burgling, black & white mutha...

The next time you fancy breaking into my house and terrorising my girls, ask yourself this question:

Do you feel lucky?  

Well, do you, Skunk?