A boy named Soubriquet

[susie_flo]

Fiends... I never thought the day would come, but I have joined 'mumsnet'. 

It's actually nothing like I imagined.  My prejudiced mind had dreamed up a community populated by the tiresomely earnest at one end and the incurably outraged at the other.  And yet in reality the general tone appears to be wry and no-nonsense and characterised by a refreshingly dark, and very British, sense of humour.  (Notwithstanding the obligatory spattering of nutters - 'tis the internet, after all).
 
So far I am avoiding gore and terror threads in favour of inane discussions such as how much wine it is ok to drink and people taking the piss out of other people's baby names.  (Someone right now is asking for advice on whether to call her baby Ulysses.)
 
One of the fun things on the site is a baby name generator based entirely on the wisdom of crowds.  You answer a series of shallow questions about what sort of person you think your baby will be and it suggests names that people have voted to go with those traits.  For example:

 
My baby will be a:  Hedge Fund Manager
My baby will wear:  Boden
My baby will shop at:  Fortnum & Mason
My baby's choice of biscuits will be:  Duchy Originals
Suggested boys' names:  Oliver, William, James, Oscar, Edward, Hugo, Alexander, Henry, Charles, Barnaby, Felix, Harry, Jasper
 
My baby will be a:  Reiki healer
My baby will wear:  Oxfam
My baby will shop at:  Organic Farmer's Market
My baby's choice of biscuits will be:  Stem ginger organic wheat-frees
Suggested boys' names:  Arlo, Benjamin, Magnus, Isaac, Lugh, Oak, Sam, Kai, Ptolemy, Leander, Ozymandius

My baby will be a:  Window Cleaner
My baby will wear:  George@Asda
My baby will shop at:  Greggs
My baby's choice of biscuits will be:  Fox's Party Rings
Suggested boys' names:  Jayden, Oliver, Joshua, Callum, Alfie, Kai, Jugurtha
 
My baby will be a:  Computer geek
My baby will wear:  M&S
My baby will shop at:  Waitrose
My baby's choice of biscuits will be:  Fig Rolls
Suggested boys' names:  Alexander, William, Peter, George, Benjamin, David, Nicholas, Cameron, Daniel, Ezra
 

(That last one is basically a hybrid of G and me...  and we have considered at least 3 of those names!)

Alternatively you can type in a specific name and see how people have categorised it.  Sadly there is no entry for Ruprecht, but the mumsnet masses have decreed that Dante is most likely to be a film director, shop at Waitrose and wear Dolce and Gabbana, whereas Adam will be a computer geek, shop at Austin Reed and eat chocolate Hob-nobs.
 
It's weirdly addictive...

G and I still haven't settled on a name for Ruprecht - and we may not do so until we've had a look at him in the flesh.  But for now our ideas are many and random and are hovering in a sort of hinterland between classic 'safe' names and poncetastic 'arty' names that would probably get the poor devil beaten up if he ever ventured outside St Margarets.  (I'm actually afraid to tell you, fiends...  but, for illustrative purposes, lets just say that Adam and Dante were typed into the generator for a reason.)
 
Of course, there's a terrible risk factor in naming the boy something beautiful like Raphael, only to watch the poor mite inherit my puny height and upper body strength, our combined dreadful eyesight and G's propensity for staring at glowing rectangles while snorting at XKCD cartoons.
  
In the end, I suspect we'll end up playing it safe on the first name and allow our inner ponces to run amok on the middle name.  (After all, being slightly evil is a parent's prerogative, n'est ce pas?)
 
It's all so much easier with cats...
   
 

Comments

[bumblebee.livejournal.com]

Haha, that's cool.

I look after a little boy called Benjamin. I really like the name, but that probably has a lot to do with how awesome the little man is!

[the-meanest-cat.livejournal.com]

I like Benjamin too (though G is not so keen, he thinks it sounds doggy).

[lazy-hoor.livejournal.com]

You're only allowed to call Ruprecht 'Raphael' if you call his siblings Leonardo, Michelangelo and Donatello.

[the-meanest-cat.livejournal.com]

Siblings? Don't scare me...

[lazy-hoor.livejournal.com]

Mr Hoor was born the same year as his sister. They are not twins.

Careful now!

[ms-siobhan.livejournal.com]

I once had to work with a man named Jonty, I could barely look him in the eye as there was a pony named Jonty at the RDA centre I used to help out at. Whatever you do please don't call him that.

Naming cats is far far easier :-)

[the-meanest-cat.livejournal.com]

Jonty is among my all time least favourite names for a man!

[kissmeforlonger.livejournal.com]

The one things I remember about school is the torture of having to spell both of my names at every single class registration in the first week of term. Having electronic registers will presumably mean the poor child doesn't have to endure this. So do your worst!!